Got no time to read a long book? Read these authors instead.

I recently came across a new German writer (well, two of them actually, but I only want to mention one of them here). The writer I'm thinking of is Horst Evers, the pen name of Gerd Winter. 

I picked up audiobooks of two of his novels recently; one was good, the other completely boring. Then, however, I picked up a 5-CD set of his short anecdotes and stories and really enjoyed them. Very humorous. 

If you want to hear him read some of his work, here you go:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oU3vib6P60&t=41s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qq8pBl08fs&t=5s

And there are many many more.

He puts me a bit in mind of Ephraim Kishon (formerly known as Ferenc Hoffmann before he emigrated from Hungary to Israel). I always credit him and Hera Lind (yes, I know) for 'firming up my everyday German' when I was on my year abroad as a student. He wrote short anecdotal stories about family life in Israel, always laced with humour.

If you like humorous stories of family life, I can recommend two American writers. Firstly, Erma Bombeck. I came across her when a Canadian girl, Deana, was visiting German relatives in Berlin while I was visiting my German relatives in Berlin. She could have me in stitches. One memorable title is "If Life is Like a Bowl of Cherries, What am I Doing in the Pits?" 

The second is the wonderful David Sedaris, who is still alive and writing, unlike poor Erma and Ephraim. The best way to enjoy David Sedaris is to listen to him. Here are just a couple of the many links on YouTube. I like his style as his stories are always tinged with melancholy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yt77UXCke8M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHUJr3fq0oI

Finally, if you want stories with a twist, I recommend Roald Dahl (born in Wales to Norwegian parents) and science fiction writers Ray Bradbury and Philip K. Dick.

Roald Dahl's stories often have a slightly macabre twist. I also enjoy his novels for adults and especially for children.

Strangely though, I simply can't 'get into' the novels of Ray Bradbury or Philip K. Dick. I've tried a few times. I've managed to get through Fahrenheit 451 a couple of times, but it's not a great piece of writing. 

However...when it comes to short stories, these writers are brilliant and make you think. If I had to choose between the two, I'd go for Philip K. Dick, he who wrote Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, the novel that the film Bladerunner is based on. (I tried to read it twice and failed twice).

So, if you haven't got the time and enough attention to get through an entire book, try these short story writers.

The tesserae of my life

You're probably wondering what 'tesserae' are. A 'tessera' is a small coloured tile that can be used to make mosaics. 

Our lives are made up of many small parts and they include people that we see often, but whose names we usually don't know. 

Recently, I was walking home when I passed a woman I'd not seen in over a year. I was delighted to see that this older woman who used the gym in the early morning as I do was still alive. I cheerily greeted her and said how lovely it was to see her again. As I said to her, "We don't know each other's names, but you're still part of my life." She agreed. 

Last Wednesday, I wanted to go to the cinema so rang up and asked, "You're showing a film at 7 this evening, right?" "Right," said the man's voice at the other end of the line. "What do I have to bring to get in?" I asked. "Money," he replied instantly. But it turned out that proof that I'd been tested, been certified as recovered (from coronavirus) or had been vaccinated twice was also needed. "I've not been to the cinema since August last year," I said. "I can't wait."

When I got there, I said, "Here I am again. It's been a long time." "I thought it was you," he replied. Imagine that. I've not been there for a year and he still recognised my voice - and he doesn't know my name at all. (I know his name as it's on the cinema's website: Ronny Rübner, which I think is a great name - very alliterative.)

These days, I keep bumping into all sorts of people whose name I don't know, and it's great to see that these 'tesserae' who make up the colourful mosaic of my life have survived the pandemic so far.

Leave the car at home!

In the UK, most journeys by car (56%) are over distances of less than 5 miles. Five miles, that's 8 km or just about 90 minutes of walking. And that's the maximum distance. Six per cent cover less than 1 miles (1,600 metres!!). 

And that's not all. I quote: "Motorists are exposed to the highest level of harmful emissions at the start of every journey, research shows.

Emissions systems that are built into cars to capture harmful pollution take around five minutes to warm up and activate, resulting in dangerous 'pollution bursts' in the initial moments drivers and their passengers are en route."

(Source: https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/cars/article-5708973/The-5-minutes-car-journey-expose-drivers-higher-levels-pollution.html)

My sister, for example, takes her car to drive 2 miles (3.2 km) to see our parents. It would take her 30 minutes to walk it along a country road. It's not a complicated route. I don't think there are any traffic lights along the way. But no...a slim woman, 5 years younger than me and in good health is unable to walk 30 minutes in one direction and then 30 minutes back, despite the fact that she wants to keep slim and healthy.

There is, however, a bus that goes along the same route and stops practically at the end of my parents' cul-de-sac (Sackgasse). That would cut down the pollution as the bus will run whether or not someone is on it. But no...she takes the car and contributes towards global warming.

Want to see the effects of global warming? Take a look at the photo that heads the article below and imagine that you are that woman and you are about to lose everything you have. Personally, I find that photo most distressing. I almost can't breathe when I see it. The pain in her face. It's overwhelming.

(Source: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/aug/09/wildfires-rage-greece-italy-eu-mounts-firefighting-operation-evacuations-destruction-southern-europe)

Every time you take the car for a piddling journey that you could walk, cycle or use public transport for, think of that poor Greek woman. You helped cause her grief.

Stop buying bottled water now!

There's one thing I have never understood about their Germans: they claim to be concerned about the environment and then they go and haul crates of bottled water up to their flats. Why?

Germany has good tap water. Well, the town I live in does. I only ever buy bottled water for guests - and even then, they can't always tell the difference between tap water and plain bottled water. 

I used to teach two Korean brothers who claimed not to like drinking tap water, so I'd buy plain bottled water from the Arabic-run shops nearby (very cheap). But as I find buying bottled drinks wasteful, I would often just refill the empty plastic bottles with cold tap water and then pour it out into their glasses. Did they complain? Did they pull a face and shout, "Ugh, tap water!" Did they heck. They couldn't tell the difference.

And what is with Germans and 'Sprudelwasser' or carbonated water. It's acidic. Why drink it?

But the real problem with bottled water is that it uses plastic and plastic uses oil. Here is a mind-blowing article that makes it clear how pernicious buying bottled water is:

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/aug/05/environmental-impact-of-bottled-water-up-to-3500-times-greater-than-tap-water

I quote: 

"The impact of bottled water on natural resources is 3,500 times higher than for tap water, scientists have found."

and..

"Research led by the Barcelona Institute for Global Health (ISGlobal) found that if the city’s population were all to drink bottled water, this would result in a 3,500 times higher cost of resource extraction than if they all drank tap water, at $83.9m (£60.3m)a year.

Researchers also found the impact of bottled water on ecosystems is 1,400 times higher than tap water."

and

"In the US, 17m barrels of oil are needed to produce the plastic to meet annual bottled water demand. In addition, bottled water in the UK is at least 500 times more expensive than tap water."

So, folks, please, be as green as you claim to be and drink the flipping tap water. You're paying for it already.

I'm off to bed now, and while I'm reading a book on the local artist Joseph Beuys, I'll be sipping a glass of cold tap water, or as I like to call it "feinstes Düsseldorfer Leitungswasser".

The heartening side of the Olympics

I'm not the kind of person who watches sport on TV. Rather than watch sport, I believe you should do it. Not to a professional level - just move.

I've not seen any of the Olympic events on TV at all, but I do scan the newspaper headlines and occasionally read an article or two. 

Today, I came across this article on The Guardian website and have to agree that the points made here have made these Olympic Games very heartening - in such an awful and dismal age. I particularly like the photo of the two athletes who shared gold. A first. The article gives me hope that there are some thoughtful people coming up in the world.

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/aug/05/20-essential-lessons-young-athletes-taught-us-this-summer-euros-olympics