My latest acronym: OHIO

Of all the people in my family - on both the Welsh and German sides - I am the untidiest. Not dirty, just untidy. Oh, I can get everything looking just perfect, especially when I've got someone coming to stay with me, but with no-one in the flat, I can turn around and half an hour later, everything untidy again. 

I often find that as soon as I've put everything away - a place for everything and everything in its place, as they say - then it only takes 30 minutes for me to start pulling everything out of the drawers again: scissors, pens, needles, crochet hooks, books, papers..... Why do I bother?

And, of course, when it comes to day-to-day household chores, I can always find something more interesting to do, such as reading or "making things". And until the latest handicraft project is finished, the place gets covered in threads and bits of fluff and polyester stuffing and, recently, plastic pellets to create a bit of weight in my frog bean bags. Boy, did the vacuum cleaner rattle when those plastic pellets went into it.

Often, I just can't be bothered tidying up and I'll put something down somewhere to "put away later". However, I have recently stumbled across a new acronym (i.e. an abbreviation that can be said like a word, such as NATO) which is meant to help people keep a neat and tidy home: OHIO, which stands for "Only Handle It Once").

For example, if you have a book in your hand, put it back on the shelf straight away instead of putting it on some pile to sort out "later". Why do that? It only means you have to pick it up again some other time. If you have a pullover in your hand that you only wore for an hour or so, don't drape it over a chair, fold it up and put it away now. If there is an e-mail that asks you to send the writer something, then do it at once and you won't have to put it on a to-do list or keep it in your mind all day, or even for the next few days. When you unload your groceries from the shopping bags, put them away as you take them out of the bags. Don't just let them lie around on the kitchen counter until "later".

This way, to-do lists become shorter and you become a bit calmer because you don't have to remind yourself all the time what you still have to do. 

As Nike's slogan says: Just do it!

The Germans have a word for it: Holschuld and Bringschuld

It's been quite a while since I stumbled over these words in a text that I was translating. From a legal perspective, it relates to money or "debt", i.e. Schuld. Holschuld in that context means "debt collectible by the creditor, or debt to be collected at the debtor's residence". And Bringschuld means "debt to be discharged at the creditor's domicile".

But the translation wasn't referring to money at all but to information and in this case, Holschuld (literally: "fetch obligation") means that you have to actively gather (or "fetch") the information you need to do a particular job, e.g. from colleagues or superiors. It's down to you to seek out the data.

Thus, conversely, Bringschuld ("bring obligation") describes the idea that you automatically receive the information required to do a particular job, i.e. you don't have to go in search of it or to ask for it. It should be sent to you as a matter of form.

You can tell that these terms are a very German concept by searching for them on Wikipedia. They are there, but only in German and not in any other language. That's because they are unique to the German way of thinking. In no other country has anyone else thought it necessary to invent a word to describe such concepts. 

Here's a nice little thought to end with. The quote in the picture loosely translates as "Knowledge is not something that is owed to you. Knowledge is something you must seek out yourself".

Maybe my father is wrong

Gosh, has it really been 3 months since my last post? Apparently so.

What has been "eating" at me recently - and over decades, really - is the treatment I received from my parents while growing up under their roof and even now: criticism, name-calling, belittlment. And in my teenage years, physical abuse, when they took their violent tempers out on me with their hands and slippers and, once, even a wooden stick. 

On a visit to the UK at Easter 2019, my father and I were coming back from a visit to an old family friend and, in the car, he said to me, "When you are with other people, you should keep your mouth shut. No-one is interested in hearing what you have to say." Pretty breath-taking from someone who has known you since birth. You'd think he'd be on your side, right? Nope.

Those words really hurt and lockdown didn't help either: I started to withdraw. I've become a bit of a hermit, always looking for a reason to stay at home, even not going to the supermarket round the corner, which means trying to find something to eat in the kitchen. This is why I often organise things such as walks, or tell my students of talks and other events - in an effort to oblige myself to leave my flat and actually meet and mingle with people again.

A few Sundays ago, however, I was invited to a thank-you lunch for various people who had helped a young man on his journey through life so far. As of a week or so, he is now a law student at a prestigious German university. I didn't know any of the other guests I sat next to, apart from the father. And yet, I had pleasant conversations with them and they said they had enjoyed talking to me, one woman even asked me for my contact details. 

Two days later, I was at a talk, where people came up to me afterwards and chatted to me, with smiles on their faces, as though they were pleased to see me. And the same thing happened when I walked into a restaurant where an "English club" was taking place: smiles and people coming up to me to talk to me.

How can this be? Two years ago, when my father was celebrating a big birthday, I returned to Wales, for the first time since 2019. And within less than 24 hours, my father "exploded" and shouted at me because I had dared to talk to my aunt when he was talking to her. I just wanted to tell her a quick anecdote about him. I'd not seen my aunt since 2019 either. He was enraged. And I spent four days in tears, because I'm not used to people shouting at me. And that wasn't the only time he shouted at me during that visit either.

At one point, he also mentioned that my sister was "the same". "When she comes by, she talks about herself, too," he complained. 

So this is confusing for me. My father tells me to shut my mouth permanently and not talk to people. He complains that I go "poking my nose into other people's lives" and I shouldn't do anything involving other people. 

And on the other hand, people want me to "poke my nose" into their lives: story time for toddlers, walks for two groups, classes, social events...I've even given talks that people have paid money to listen to.

So who is right? My father, who has known me since birth? Or strangers who haven't known me for as long as he has?

This is why I withdraw myself from society and stay at home and don't even bother posting here. If my parent isn't for me, why should anyone else be?

I capitulate!

You may have read in the press, heard on the radio or seen on TV that Europe is suffering from a so-called "heat dome". Germany has seen temperatures of 40 C and higher. Incredible. Unheard of. 

Here in this town, the highest temperature reached so far has been 38 C. And throughout all this time, I've tried to stay cool in my flat by putting the awning [Markise] on my balcony down, putting up two sun umbrellas on the sides of the balcony, letting down the venetian blinds [Jalousien], pulling the curtains shut, and dressing in light clothes. A cold footbath and wiping my body down with a damp face flannel also helps. As do cold drinks. And my "Spanish air-conditioning" as I call it, a Spanish fan. Made of wood and cloth, it's bio-degradable, doesn't need batteries or power packs, and can be dropped without breaking. My current one is already 16 years old. 

But all these measures were not enough to prevent me from feeling exhausted by the heat. So...today...after 8 days of feeling as though I was crawling through the Saharan desert rather than living in northern Germany, a supposedly temperate climate, I capitulated. I gave up. I surrendered my principles and... got the electric fan out of its box in the box room [Abstellraum]. 

One reason for all this global warming is the burning of fossil fuels, which, among other things, are burnt to produce electricity. Hence, by putting on an electric fan and thus increasing my demand for electricity, I'm contributing to the increased burning of fossil fuels and thus global warming. That's what is called a "vicious circle" [Teufelskreis].

So you might wonder why I have an electric fan after all, if it goes against my principle of trying not to contribute to global warming. The answer is "gerbils" [Rennmäuse]. Yep, gerbils. In about 2003, when the first heatwave hit Europe and around 5,000 people in Paris alone died because of the heat, I got some gerbils from my Danish teacher. At the time, I was living in a small flat under a flat roof. Boy, did it get hot - so hot, that the poor gerbils couldn't cope and they died. The heat killed them, too.

And that's when I got a fan, because in those days, I couldn't live without gerbils and I didn't want any other pet of mine to suffer the same fate.

That means that their deaths were, as the Germans say, "ein Glück im Unglück" or a "blessing in disguise". Without them, I'd not be enjoying any relief from the heat.

The Germans have a word for it: Dunkelziffer - very Donald Rumsfeld

Some of you might recall a certain person called Donald Rumsfeld. To quote Wikipedia: "Donald Henry Rumsfeld was an American politician, businessman, naval officer, and diplomat who served as the 13th United States secretary of defense from 1975 to 1977 under President Gerald Ford, and again as the 21st secretary of defense from 2001 to 2006 under President George W. Bush."

One of the things he was most famous for was something he said at a press conference held on 12 February 2002: 

Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because, as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we now know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we do not know we don't know.

At the time, many people thought he was babbling, talking nonsense, that he'd "lost the plot" [den Faden verlieren].

However, when you work your way through it, what he said does make sense. And the Germans have a similiar concept encapsulated in the word "Dunkelziffer". 

Let's say you are talking about crime statistics and state that there were 1,000 reported rape cases last year. You would then say that the "Dunkelziffer", which literally means "dark number", is probably four times higher, since most people do not go to the police to report a rape. Or you might give a figure for the number of people diagnosed with a certain disease or condition and then say that you have no idea how many have not yet been diagnosed but you make an informed guess - that's the "Dunkelziffer".

"Dunkelziffer" means the unknown (and estimated) number of cases or events that were not reported or are not known about. 

It is, in the words of Donald Rumsfeld, a "known unknown"; we cannot know how many actual cases or events took place; we can only guess at the figure.

Trust [man kann sich darauf verlassen, dass] the Germans to come up with a single word to sum up a complicated concept.

I told you so!

Sometimes, it's not great to be right after all.

The local adult education school (VHS) finally managed to move into its newly renovated premises - only 8 years after the initial idea and about 2.5 years after the planned opening. A sum of 10 million euros was spent on renovating the building and €4 million will have to be spent on the lease every year; and it's a 30-year lease. I know my maths isn't very good, but even I can calculate €120 million!! I was shocked by the figures here. How can this go well, I thought. They've spent too much. It's not like this is the only school that is having money thrown at it. Off the top of my head, I can think of three secondary schools that are being rebuilt or built new in this town. I did mention to the Head of English that I feared for the future of this particular school. And it seems I was right to be fearful.

With a four-million price tag for the building's lease every year, that means that the roughly 50,000 students a year contribute €80 each to cover that cost.

The reason for moving into the building in the first place was two-fold: firstly, they wanted to amalgamate three sites and bring them all together in one place; secondly, they wanted to attract younger students and the new location is next to a management school and a university of applied sciences.

Unfortunately, this town is now drowning in debt and late last week, all English teachers got an e-mail saying that, since the town has to make savings across the board [global, allgemein] the courses offered would be affected. There wasn't enough money to pay all the teachers.

In the English department, that means that courses in the categories of "English Extras, "General Business English", AND "Professional English" will ALL be cut. Completely. Some of the other, more general courses will disappear, too, or be shortened. And yet....at the same time... the powers that be [höhere Mächte] have increased the price they pay each teacher by one euro per 45-minute lesson. As the Americans say, "go figure" [Wahnsinn, oder? Stell dir vor].

I'm still trying to figure out how cutting business English and professional English is going to attract the younger students that the move to the new location was meant to attract.

And why pay more money per lesson when you are forced to cut the number of courses because you can't pay the teachers?

Mind-boggling. Irrsinnig!

The Germans have a word for it: fremdschämen

A lot of people see German as an ugly language. It doesn't sound nice - all those throat-clearing 'ch' sounds, for example  "mit Ach und Krach" (by the skin of one's teeth). There's a video on YouTube on the various European words for "butterfly", which are all supposed to sound pretty until you come to the German word for it: "Schmetterling". 

How to pronounce butterfly in five languages

However, German has one major advantage and that is you can slam two words together to make a new one. And it can encapsulate in that one single word a concept that would take several words to explain in English. One of the most famous examples of this is "Schadenfreude" (literally "damage delight"). If you look it up, you'll find a definition along the lines of "taking a malicious delight in the misfortunes of others".

In this little series entitled "The Germans have a word for it", I'd like to share a few German words that I've collected over the years and for which the English-speaking world has no word.

The first in the series is "fremdschämen", a verb. It's relatively recent, having made it into Duden, the famous German dictionary, in 2009. It means that you yourself feel embarrassed on behalf of another person who is behaving in such a way that should make them feel embarrassed - but they're not. One possible translation is "vicarious embarrassment". LEO - an excellent online dictionary, one I often consult on a daily basis - suggests that "zum Fremdschämen" could be translated as "cringeworthy".

                    Die Rede des Politikers war so schlecht und peinlich, dass der gesamte Auftritt zum Fremdschämen war.

                    The politician's speech was so bad and awkward, that the entire performance was cringeworthy.