I capitulate!

You may have read in the press, heard on the radio or seen on TV that Europe is suffering from a so-called "heat dome". Germany has seen temperatures of 40 C and higher. Incredible. Unheard of. 

Here in this town, the highest temperature reached so far has been 38 C. And throughout all this time, I've tried to stay cool in my flat by putting the awning [Markise] on my balcony down, putting up two sun umbrellas on the sides of the balcony, letting down the venetian blinds [Jalousien], pulling the curtains shut, and dressing in light clothes. A cold footbath and wiping my body down with a damp face flannel also helps. As do cold drinks. And my "Spanish air-conditioning" as I call it, a Spanish fan. Made of wood and cloth, it's bio-degradable, doesn't need batteries or power packs, and can be dropped without breaking. My current one is already 16 years old. 

But all these measures were not enough to prevent me from feeling exhausted by the heat. So...today...after 8 days of feeling as though I was crawling through the Saharan desert rather than living in northern Germany, a supposedly temperate climate, I capitulated. I gave up. I surrendered my principles and... got the electric fan out of its box in the box room [Abstellraum]. 

One reason for all this global warming is the burning of fossil fuels, which, among other things, are burnt to produce electricity. Hence, by putting on an electric fan and thus increasing my demand for electricity, I'm contributing to the increased burning of fossil fuels and thus global warming. That's what is called a "vicious circle" [Teufelskreis].

So you might wonder why I have an electric fan after all, if it goes against my principle of trying not to contribute to global warming. The answer is "gerbils" [Rennmäuse]. Yep, gerbils. In about 2003, when the first heatwave hit Europe and around 5,000 people in Paris alone died because of the heat, I got some gerbils from my Danish teacher. At the time, I was living in a small flat under a flat roof. Boy, did it get hot - so hot, that the poor gerbils couldn't cope and they died. The heat killed them, too.

And that's when I got a fan, because in those days, I couldn't live without gerbils and I didn't want any other pet of mine to suffer the same fate.

That means that their deaths were, as the Germans say, "ein Glück im Unglück" or a "blessing in disguise". Without them, I'd not be enjoying any relief from the heat.

The Germans have a word for it: Dunkelziffer - very Donald Rumsfeld

Some of you might recall a certain person called Donald Rumsfeld. To quote Wikipedia: "Donald Henry Rumsfeld was an American politician, businessman, naval officer, and diplomat who served as the 13th United States secretary of defense from 1975 to 1977 under President Gerald Ford, and again as the 21st secretary of defense from 2001 to 2006 under President George W. Bush."

One of the things he was most famous for was something he said at a press conference held on 12 February 2002: 

Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because, as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we now know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we do not know we don't know.

At the time, many people thought he was babbling, talking nonsense, that he'd "lost the plot" [den Faden verlieren].

However, when you work your way through it, what he said does make sense. And the Germans have a similiar concept encapsulated in the word "Dunkelziffer". 

Let's say you are talking about crime statistics and state that there were 1,000 reported rape cases last year. You would then say that the "Dunkelziffer", which literally means "dark number", is probably four times higher, since most people do not go to the police to report a rape. Or you might give a figure for the number of people diagnosed with a certain disease or condition and then say that you have no idea how many have not yet been diagnosed but you make an informed guess - that's the "Dunkelziffer".

"Dunkelziffer" means the unknown (and estimated) number of cases or events that were not reported or are not known about. 

It is, in the words of Donald Rumsfeld, a "known unknown"; we cannot know how many actual cases or events took place; we can only guess at the figure.

Trust [man kann sich darauf verlassen, dass] the Germans to come up with a single word to sum up a complicated concept.

I told you so!

Sometimes, it's not great to be right after all.

The local adult education school (VHS) finally managed to move into its newly renovated premises - only 8 years after the initial idea and about 2.5 years after the planned opening. A sum of 10 million euros was spent on renovating the building and €4 million will have to be spent on the lease every year; and it's a 30-year lease. I know my maths isn't very good, but even I can calculate €120 million!! I was shocked by the figures here. How can this go well, I thought. They've spent too much. It's not like this is the only school that is having money thrown at it. Off the top of my head, I can think of three secondary schools that are being rebuilt or built new in this town. I did mention to the Head of English that I feared for the future of this particular school. And it seems I was right to be fearful.

With a four-million price tag for the building's lease every year, that means that the roughly 50,000 students a year contribute €80 each to cover that cost.

The reason for moving into the building in the first place was two-fold: firstly, they wanted to amalgamate three sites and bring them all together in one place; secondly, they wanted to attract younger students and the new location is next to a management school and a university of applied sciences.

Unfortunately, this town is now drowning in debt and late last week, all English teachers got an e-mail saying that, since the town has to make savings across the board [global, allgemein] the courses offered would be affected. There wasn't enough money to pay all the teachers.

In the English department, that means that courses in the categories of "English Extras, "General Business English", AND "Professional English" will ALL be cut. Completely. Some of the other, more general courses will disappear, too, or be shortened. And yet....at the same time... the powers that be [höhere Mächte] have increased the price they pay each teacher by one euro per 45-minute lesson. As the Americans say, "go figure" [Wahnsinn, oder? Stell dir vor].

I'm still trying to figure out how cutting business English and professional English is going to attract the younger students that the move to the new location was meant to attract.

And why pay more money per lesson when you are forced to cut the number of courses because you can't pay the teachers?

Mind-boggling. Irrsinnig!

The Germans have a word for it: fremdschämen

A lot of people see German as an ugly language. It doesn't sound nice - all those throat-clearing 'ch' sounds, for example  "mit Ach und Krach" (by the skin of one's teeth). There's a video on YouTube on the various European words for "butterfly", which are all supposed to sound pretty until you come to the German word for it: "Schmetterling". 

How to pronounce butterfly in five languages

However, German has one major advantage and that is you can slam two words together to make a new one. And it can encapsulate in that one single word a concept that would take several words to explain in English. One of the most famous examples of this is "Schadenfreude" (literally "damage delight"). If you look it up, you'll find a definition along the lines of "taking a malicious delight in the misfortunes of others".

In this little series entitled "The Germans have a word for it", I'd like to share a few German words that I've collected over the years and for which the English-speaking world has no word.

The first in the series is "fremdschämen", a verb. It's relatively recent, having made it into Duden, the famous German dictionary, in 2009. It means that you yourself feel embarrassed on behalf of another person who is behaving in such a way that should make them feel embarrassed - but they're not. One possible translation is "vicarious embarrassment". LEO - an excellent online dictionary, one I often consult on a daily basis - suggests that "zum Fremdschämen" could be translated as "cringeworthy".

                    Die Rede des Politikers war so schlecht und peinlich, dass der gesamte Auftritt zum Fremdschämen war.

                    The politician's speech was so bad and awkward, that the entire performance was cringeworthy.

Back from 17 minutes in New Zealand

 And how did I manage to spend a mere 17 minutes in New Zealand this morning? Well, it's all thanks to the gym - and the cross-trainer that has a special screen which allows you to select various options to keep you occupied while trudging hard and going nowhere.

Only, today, I did go somewhere. I recently found out that one of the things you could choose from were walks from all around the world - Alaska, north-west USA, Hawaii - and New Zealand. So I chose New Zealand and did three trails before getting too bored. 

It was lovely - the greenery, the geology and the little bits of information that popped up as I went along the trails. 

I look forward to walking in Hawaii next. A mini-holiday without the need to pack and get on a plane.

In the meantime, here's a photo of the end of the second trail (or as they say in New Zealand 'tramp'):

Why?

Why is it that, when I have a day off, I wake up at 4.30 a.m. and can't get to sleep again, no matter how I try, so I get up and do stuff, but when I have to do work, I sleep until 6 a.m. and am then so groggy that I can't get myself into gear [mich aufraffen]? I then lie in bed for an hour or so, semi-comatose, unable to move, incapable of even opening my eyes - despite the fact that work awaits me.

It's so unfair.

The morbid nature of the Germans

 Last Friday, I did a short 11 km walk which nearly killed me, so hilly it was. Since I had about 40 minutes to kill before the train came, I rewarded myself with a nice cup of tea in a newly opened cafe. At least...I thought it was going to be a pleasant sit-down in the place.

Unfortunately, I can understand German perfectly and there was a 74-year-old man, talking to a 42-year-old women (so detailed were they that I got all this information within a minute or two) about ill health, strokes, and "Scheintod", or "apparent death". 

He went on about how people have been buried alive and that was only discovered when they had to open the casket or coffin again long after the burial. The people who opened the coffin found scratch marks on the inside. Ugh!

Could I ignore the morbid nature of the talk? Could I heck. They were the only two other guests in the smallish place. After a few minutes and a couple of glares in their direction, I picked up my stuff and the tea cup and moved outside. 

Oh, what a difference. Sunshine. Peace. And pleasantness restored.

The actual cafe: Café Alma am Mariendom in Neviges.