HNO = ENT

Don't worry. I'm not going to do algebra. "HNO" stands for "Hals-Nasen-Ohren-Arzt", which in English would be an "ENT" doctor or "ear-nose-throat" specialist.

What tickles me is that the order of the three parts of the body is the opposite way round in the two languages. Obviously, this is because they are listed in alphabetical order, but I still think it's funny that the lists are a "mirror image" of each other.

I now know what my neighbours aren't eating

 About a month or so ago, shortly after it was agreed that I can try to do something with the strip of 'garden' in the back yard, we got a "Biotonne" or bin for waste food and garden waste. In the first week or so, when I put stuff in it, I noticed that there were a few small plastic bags tied up and thrown in as well. I presumed that they contained kitchen waste from the other tenants. 

Since then, however, that bin has contained nothing apart from what I have checked in, including lots of ivy and dead twigs. Recent kitchen waste from me has included eggshells, banana skins, the peel of oranges and grapefruit, the leaves of cauliflowers, apple cores and kohlrabi peel. But my neighbours don't seem to eat anything fresh at all. Whenever I chucked more stuff in, the new waste landed on my old waste.

I am puzzled by this as we now have occupiers for all 15 flats, including a family of four, a young couple, a father and son and many people (including me) who work from home. Do they honestly eat nothing fresh from one week to the next? Or can't they be bothered to collect the waste and then take it down to the bins? Or do they - as so many Germans do - only eat hot food at the canteen where they work and eat just bread and stuff for breakfast and so-called "Abendbrot", which literally translates into "evening bread"? If they do that and just have a bit of fresh tomato to put on their cheese sandwich, then that might explain the lack of vegetable waste, but it is worrying. 

Evenings at my parents or grandparents' place was like "feeding time at the zoo". At around 6.30 in the evening, my mother or grandmother would sit down on the sofa with a big soup plate piled high with various kinds of fruit. The rest of the family would all be watching TV. Mum or Oma would then proceed to peel, slice and share out bits of fruit to every family member: half or a quarter of an orange, thick slices of apple, half a banana, a bit of pear, some grapes - whatever. Either handed over to the person in question or passed over on a small cake plate. Conversation ceased as everyone munched and crunched on the fruit. Like a band of gorillas.

Recently, there has been a rise in colon cancer that has worried both scientists and laypeople. One reason for this is now thought to be the lack of fibre or roughage [Ballaststoff] in one's food. Crisps [Kartoffelchips], chips [Pommes], Haribo sweets and white bread rolls - which is what I often see the children on their way to the three schools in the area eat for breakfast - don't give your stomach and guts a good time. Fibre is said to act like pipe cleaners [Pfeifenreiniger]: as it is not absorbed into your various systems, it passes through your stomach and digestive tract, helping to push out waste. With a lot of it in your gut, it increases the size and - more importantly - the softness of your stools, which means you can avoid the unpleasant feeling and consequences of constipation [Obstipation]. It has various other effects, but that is the one I like best: the idea of it cleaning you out from the inside.

The fact that I see no food waste in the special bin for it just makes me wonder about the health of my neighbours - now that I can see what they don't eat.

Gardening and nature conservation - or chopping nature to bits

In my first year at Manchester University, I joined two societies in the first week, Freshers' Week, when at least 40 student societies set up stands in the large hall of the Student Union building to woo new members. The two that I joined were the Folk Dancing Society (a very strenuous 3 hours on a Wednesday afternoon) and the Conservation Society. They didn't meet up so often and I only went out once with them and that was to chop down trees that shouldn't have been in that area and to clear the land. 

Recently, I have persuaded one of my three landlords to let me have a go at the small strip of 'garden' in the back yard. Frankly, I couldn't do any worse than the caretaker of the building who hacked all the living plants to bits and left the dead trees and shrubs in situ. Thankfully, I can see some tentative [zahhaft] signs that the poor plants are recovering. A lot of plants are bloody-minded [stur] and refuse to give up. 

I've tackled some of the easier parts of the strip - those that aren't blocked by the 101 bikes that seem to breed in but never leave the yard. And today, it was the turn of a large bush that was being choked by horrible thick tendrils of ivy. (I really hate ivy, although I'll put up with the variegated variety, having daintier leaves and being more interested in colour.)

An entire "Biotonne" or green waste bin was full by the time I had finished and the little corner looked a lot brighter and the bush seemed a lot happier at being free and able to feel the breeze through its branches. Once I get a good grip of that area, more plants will join those that I've already planted out.

It did, however, amuse me to think that a lot of gardening seems to be hacking nature to bits in an attempt to allow the plants to thrive and live in harmony with each other.

Horrible ivy

Nice ivy

"I'm so lonely....you what?"

I keep reading about how more and more people feel lonely and isolated. About how they often don't talk to anyone for days or even weeks. And yet, is it any wonder when so many people go about with earphones stuck in their ears?

When I walk through the park or even through town sometimes, I might greet individual people. A quick "Morning" and a smile or a nod means that you acknowledge a person as they pass by. Often, though, the person just doesn't respond as they just don't hear you. 

And it's not just the younger people either. In a gym a while back, I complimented someone on their T-shirt and the older woman had to take the earphones out of her ears so that she could actually hear what I had said. Fortunately, I had stood in her line of sight and she had seen that my lips had moved. 

It's hard to have a conversation or even exchange a few bright and cheery words if people go round with their ears focused not on the world around them, but on something else entirely. 

You can't complain that no-one talks to you if you can't hear the words that they do say to you.

12-year-old Germans better at English than native speakers

I am coaching a 12-year-old girl in a neighbouring town online. Two Mondays ago, she asked if I could explain a new rule to her about how to use the present to describe the future. 

Basically, you use the present simple to talk about things that go according to a schedule or timetable, e.g. the plane lands at 3 p.m. or the film starts at 10 a.m. When you are talking about arrangements that involve people, then you use the present progressive or continuous (two names for the same thing). So you would say, "I'm having my hair cut tomorrow." That would imply that you've already rung up and made an appointment. You've arranged something with someone else. Another example: "I'm meeting Tom for coffee at 10." Or "I'm flying to London next week."

When I explained the rules to her, the little 12-year-old German girl understood. Imagine my horror when I received similar e-mails from my German mother (who has been in the UK for longer than I've been alive) and my British-born sister telling me about my sister's travel plans for the coming week. Both of them were using phrases such as "I fly/she flies to Munich next Monday." 

How can it possibly be that 12-year-old children in Germany are meant to speak and write better English than people who have spent decades in an English-speaking country or are even so-called native English-speakers? Considering that this girl does not get top marks in English, I shudder [schaudern] to think what marks my mother and sister would get in English. Not good ones, that's for sure.

Blog recommendation

I've just come across this blog by one of my translation clients:

https://schleicher-sprachen.de/english-blog/

Well worth dropping by to see their latest entries - generally revolving around language, especially English.

Two of my doctors are mummy's boys

I have three doctors I see from time to time, all female, including a dentist and a GP (general practitioner or Hausarzt), who are both Russian speakers from Ukraine. 

Recently, I have had to get used to the idea that they are now being replaced by their sons. Firstly, I went to the GP with pains in my shoulders, especially the left one. I was asked whether I wanted to see Herr Doktor or Frau Doktor. I don't care, I replied, so long as I see a doctor.

So I got an appointment with the doctor's son, fresh from medical school in Bulgaria. Quite a good-looking guy, if you like beards. At my second appointment with him, after receiving the results of an MRI scan (MRT in German), he wanted to send me to see some specialist for a further test. At one point, he made a call and spoke in Russian. I thought he had rung up the place he wanted to send me to, but at the end I heard him say "Spasiba, mama", and realised he'd rung his mum up to ask for her advice.

Something similar happened at the dentist's. I needed my dentist to look at something worrying I had found in my mouth and after an X-ray, he said that the tooth needed to be pulled to prevent any infection. Reluctantly, I agreed, and he made an appointment for me at 9 a.m. the following Tuesday. "Mum will be there," he said, and I thought that meant she was going to pull the tooth. As I told him, I had only been to female dentists for many years as they had smaller than male dentists and yet were just as strong. He looked down at his hands and said, "I take after my mother." And I have to admit that his hands were probably smaller than mine. 

Anyway, it turned out that he pulled my tooth and his mum was just on site - just in case he needed her help. 

I find it touching that they are respectful of their mothers' abilities and superior knowledge and experience, but only time will tell whether I stay with them. We shall see.