Friday, February 16, 2024

Maps, apps and saps

As some of you may already know, I have been leading walks through the local German countryside on and off since 2013. (One of the 'off' periods was, naturally, the lockdowns necessitated by the pandemic.)

I prepare myself pretty well for these walks. Mostly, I get my ideas from books published by Droste. First, I read the description in the book, do some research as to how easy it would be to get there and back and then I take out one of my large maps and study the route on it - as well as on Google Maps. The final step before deciding to walk the route to see if it's suitable for a guided walk with me is marking the route on the large big paper map. That is one skill I learnt in Geography at school: the ability to read a map.

Often, however, when I whip out my map along the way, I am gently teased for being so old-fashioned. Apparently, I should have something like a small, hand-held Garmin that will guide me through the countryside. Instead of getting ideas from books, I could let myself be inspired by, say, Komoot. 

I shall stick to my way of doing things for as long as possible. For one thing, if I dropped some electronic device onto a path in the pouring rain and didn't notice that for at least a quarter of an hour, I doubt whether it would still be useable. Whereas, when I did do this about 3 years ago, all I needed to do was spread the paper map out in my hotel room and let it dry out. I won't say that it's "as good as new", but it definitely is still useable.

Once, I remember going round in circles because the path wasn't marked very well and the map ran out at that point. Two women came by with a smartphone. Were they able to help? Nope. No signal. 

Two days ago, on Wednesday, I was going to a class in my gym when I came across a woman holding a smartphone and looking completely lost. Naturally, I asked if I could help. 

The Google Maps website was already open and we could see where we were on it, thanks to a little blue pulsating button. However, do you think she could figure out how to get from there to where she wanted to go - which was marked by a bright red marker? Nope. One problem with these apps on smartphones or other electronic devices is that the damned map is soooo small that you can't see the surrounding area. And if you zoom out, you can't read the markings on the map.

I've seen these saps (i.e. foolish people) in the countryside, too. They stand there, looking at this small screen with just a few markings on it. When they zoom out, the image is still not sufficiently detailed for them to work out where to go.

Once, I went on a guided walk with someone who relied on the instructions coming from a device. Readers, we went round in circles. And this was an experienced guide who had, until then, used real maps, i.e. maps made out of paper. Wonderfully large maps that give you a really good overview of the area you happen to be in.

This is why, even when I go to cities, I get a guide book out of the local library and study the relevant maps contained therein. Whenever I get to my destination, I then zoom off and within 10 minutes of walking around in the town, people are asking me for directions! Whereas the poor saps who think that a teeny-weeny map on a teeny-weeny screen is a sign of progress are still standing on the pavement in front of their hotel trying to figure out which direction they should take.

Sunday, February 4, 2024

After moronic cyclists, now we have a moronic jogger

This morning, I made my way to the main station for a 20 km walk with my walking group. I was striding along a quiet side street when I heard a noise behind me. Startled, I looked back in case it was someone who wanted to mug me (you don't get through three years of living in Manchester without developing a sense of danger). But no, it was just a female jogger about 7 metres behind me. 

I look to see that there is at least 1.5 metres space between me and the building to my right and carry on.

The next thing I know is that this woman nearly runs into the back of me and what does this idiot say to me? "Vorsicht!"

Vorsicht? Vorsicht? Me? The German word literally means 'before/in front sight'. That is to say you should look ahead of you to see what's coming.

This woman, at least in her mid 30s, runs along a pavement and nearly runs into my back and has the temerity, the effrontery to tell me that I should watch out.

When I shouted to her as she ran past me, she didn't react at all. Probably because she had earphones in her ears and so couldn't hear anything happening around her. What a bloody idiot.

How can people like this be allowed out on their own without supervision? How can they survive to their mid-30s? 

I tell you...when I'm dictator of the world, I'll put moronic cyclists and now joggers into an institution, where they can live and work under supervision. And they won't be allowed out on the streets. That should make the streets a whole lot safer.

The headlines of The Economist

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